Goal #1: Be With Jesus

“Abide in me”

I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever.

Another advocate: Another is allos (in Greek): “another of the same kind” or “another one of me”; Advocate is paraklētos (in Greek): “helper” or “intercessor”

The “another advocate” is “the Holy Spirit” (a person) and this is how we will “be with him”
To be with the Spirit is to be with Jesus, and to be with Jesus is to be with the Father.

Goal #1 of apprenticeshiip to Jesus is to live in that moment by moment flow of love within the Trinity.

Jesus’ Model of Spiritual Formation

Abide: Menō (in Greek): “remain” or “stay” or “dwell” or “make your home in”

Like winery, Jesus is the vine and we are the branches
“Make your home in me, as I make my home in you”
Menō is used 10 times throughout this short teaching, emphasizing that we should make our “home in his presence by the Spirit, and never leave”
We are all currently doing this, but what are we abiding in?
Examples of abiding (rooted) in the wrong things:
- The infinite scroll of social media
- The endless queues of streaming platforms
- The pursuit of hedonism
“If we are rooted in the inner life of God… that will also form us.”

What do you return to in your quiet moments? Where do you go to find solace and joy? What would it look like for you to make your home inside God?

Be in two places at once:
- Eat your breakfast and be with Jesus
- Commute and be with Jesus
- Change another diaper and be with Jesus
- Work and be with Jesus
- Cook and be with Jesus
Let your body become God’s home (every day)
The practice of the presence of God (Brother Lawrence)
- Abiding is not a technique but a skill. And like all skills, it takes practice to master

Turning God into a Habit

When you wake up, what’s the first thing you think about?
When you’re falling asleep, what’s the last thing you’re thinking about?
In the in between moments, what do you think about?
Our minds (don’t have to remain in a negative spiral), we can retrain them to “abide”
Persistent practice and mental habits
The law of gravity can’t be broken, but habits can. We need to direct and redirect our minds constantly to God
“You become what you contemplate” (Hwee Hwee Tan)
The more you pray, the more you think to pray
As apprentices of Jesus, we have both the ability and responsibility to set our minds on him

Our culture equates authenticity with spontaneous emotions but show me a person’s habits, and I will show you what they are truly most passionate about, most dedicated to, most willing to suffer for, and most in love with. And I will show you who they will become.

“I look at Him, He looks at me, and we are happy”

The most important thing that happens between God and the human soul is to love and to be loved.

Kallistos Katafygiotis

This is the apex of Christian spirituality
The most important thing in life is to love and be loved by God
Do not be decieved into thinking of abiding as “think happy thoughts”
Abiding with God is a level of with-ness to Jesus that goes beyond our thoughts and feelings. It’s about love

We all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory.

2 Corinthians 3:18

Contemplate: Katoptrizō (in Greek): “gaze or behold”

As we turn our inner gaze toward the beauty of the Lord, we are transformed into his image
- We become what we gaze at (Jesus)
- The more we gaze at Jesus the more beautiful we become
Goal #2 will show us that we let God love us into people of love
- We become more loving by experiencing love
So our aim is:

Agape: A selfless, unconditional, sacrificial love

Ephesians 3:16-19
Contemplative prayer isn’t looking to get anything from God; it’s just looking at God
The capacity to set the heart’s attention on God — so basic to following Jesus — is the very commodity we are losing to the “attention economy”, trading looking for liking and gazing for doomscrolling
“Contemplative prayer is a willingness to enjoy and be present to God. It is a matter of being consciously aware of my presence in Christ and attentive to Christ’s presence within me. It is saying yes to God with my whole being but without words.” (Dr. Rich Plass)

And here’s why attention is so important:

If we can’t pay attention, we can’t pray
- If we can’t pray, we can’t contemplate
  - If we can’t contemplate, we can’t gaze
    - If we can’t gaze, we can’t experience
      - If we can’t experience, we can’t transform
        
        If we can’t transform, we can’t abide
        
        If we can’t abide, we can’t be with Jesus

How do we be with Jesus? We abide in the vine; we live rooted in a relational connection to Jesus by the Spirit

The reward for following Jesus is Jesus

In our culture, prayer can feel like a waste of time

Prayer (being with Jesus), is our primary portal to joy (the best part of life)
Prayer is how we cultivate friendship with Jesus
Keep showing up to pray until you experience for yourself the “exceedingly great reward”

You don’t have time? Or do you prioritize:

Bingeing Netflix
Shopping
Playing fantasy football
Slaving away at a job
Being on your phone

Find your secret place

Matthew 6:6

Room: Tameion (in Greek): or “inner room”

Jesus had a rhythm of retreat and return
- Find a place to pray alone
- Return to do all the things
Mark 1:35, Luke 5

Solitary place: Erēmos (in Greek): “deserted place”, “lonely place”, or “quiet place”

The secret place wasn’t just a place, it was a practice, a habit
This is the spiritual practice of solitude, silence, and stillness

Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life

Henri Nouwen

“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life”

The call to apprentice under Jesus is a call to do less
Learn to say “no”
Slow down and simplify your life around the three goals of an apprentice:
- To be with your rabbi
- Become like him
- Do as he did
There is simply no way to follow Jesus without unhurrying your life
Time is our greatest enemy

Definitions

Another advocate: Another is allos (in Greek): “another of the same kind” or “another one of me”; Advocate is paraklētos (in Greek): “helper” or “intercessor”

Abide: Menō (in Greek): “remain” or “stay” or “dwell” or “make your home in”

Contemplate: Katoptrizō (in Greek): “gaze or behold”

Agape: A selfless, unconditional, sacrificial love

Room: Tameion (in Greek): or “inner room”

Solitary place: Erēmos (in Greek): “deserted place”, “lonely place”, or “quiet place”

References

John 1:39
Mark 3:13-14
Luke 9:2
John 14:16
John 14:26
John 15:4
Galatians 5:22-23
1 Timothy 6:19
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Psalm 16:8
Colossians 3:2
2 Corinthians 3:18
Psalm 27:4
Ephesians 3:16-19
Colossians 3:3
Colossians 1:27
Genesis 15:1
John 15:15
Luke 10:39
1 Timothy 6:19
Matthew 6:6
Mark 1:35
Luke 5:16
Luke 22:39
John 18:2
John 1:39

Reflection Questions

Why is “Be with Jesus” the first goal in practicing The Way? What could go wrong if we skip to “Goal #3: Do as he did”?
What stood out to you about the way Jesus himself modeled being with the Father?
Where do you most clearly see busyness, hurry, and distraction in your life?
Is there a difference between feeling busy and actually being unavailable to God?
What false substitutes do we sometimes reach for instead of actual presence with Jesus? (Productivity, consuming entertainment, maybe even ministry activity)
What in your current schedule would need to change to make room?
Has there been a season where you experienced “abiding”? What made it possible and what pulled you away from it?
What’s a spirtual practice that has actually helped you “be with” Jesus, versus one that felt like a checklist?
What’s one thing you want to try this week?